Anger Management

I think the term "anger management" is also a definition for the word "surfing". I'm feeling just fine right now. It didn't hurt that I took the day off yesterday and had some time to deal with my "stuff". It also didn't hurt to surf for 90 minutes this morning. Were there waves? Well, if you want to call those two foot things that meandered through the lineup waves, then, yes, there were waves.

Yesterday I was considering putting the Tyler up for awhile. My funk had me second guessing everything—my boards, my break, my abilities, etc. I had decided that the Tyler was too big and too heavy, just too much board for me. I was actually hating the board (and life in general). Now, fewer than 24 hours later, I was so glad I had that board out there today. I caught more waves than I could count. Apparently, two of my waves were noteworthy since people told me about them. I don't remember. I was back to surfing without thinking. In other words, I was back to having fun. I even surfed without a leash. And I'm so good that I didn't even lose my board once. Yeah, right!!! I swam. I bodysurfed. I did the Baywatch run through the white water. All of this was in pursuit of my wayward board. I am learning how to control it, but you probably couldn't have guessed that from how often I had to chase it down. Still, I rarely surf without a leash and only do so when I'm sure I won't kill anyone. It's a treat and I'd like to believe I will eventually be able to surf without losing the board. I'm finally getting the hang of turning back into the wave when I finish a ride. I assume a kick out is not far behind that. It doesn't matter. I'll have the leash on the next time I go out. What I find interesting is on Monday, when I did Dawn Patrol, I was apparently doing the wimpy paddle thing, something I try not to do and don't do much anymore. Upon learning that I did that, I thought, "Shit!! I haven't improved at all." Of course, I was in the midst of the funk then and didn't quite know it. (Yes, there's quite a bit of drama in my non-surfing life, but nothing worth putting in one of those melodramatic Lifetime Channel movies.) I decided to surf today and not worry about the paddling thing. After catching what must have been my third or fourth wave, I paddled back out, only to be told by a newbie surfer, "That's the fastest I've ever seen anyone paddle." Go figure!! That tells me that my surfing does suffer when I'm suffering. I was fine today and I got complimented. I was pissed off on Monday and paddled like a girl—presumably a girl who doesn't know how to surf.

Thanks for the pep talks. My primary reason for keeping this blog is to develop the habit of writing every day. I am well aware that others are reading it, but I don't expect others to comment. When things bother me, I mention them in the blog in an effort to work through them and get rid of the negative energy. And yet, when I'm down, you all help me through it (with your emails and comments). So, um, well . . . thanks!!!