My Footwear for the Zombie Apocalypse

This is assuming, of course, that I am a zombie and no longer part of the population of the living. Were I a member of the latter group, I'd get some running shoes on so that I could get to stepping. Although I don't watch horror films or shows, I cannot escape the current fascination in our country with all things zombie. My child plays "Plants vs. Zombies". There is apparently a television show on cable all about zombies. Zombie this. Zombie that. Whatever. When I do join their ranks, I will be sporting my long-dead-but-not-yet-laid-to-rest Vans.

These shoes went from plain old kicks to skate shoes. Slowly but surely, as is typical of canvas Vans, a tiny tear materialized where shoes naturally bend as one walks. That tear slowly grew, as did the obvious punishment that I mete out on Vans.

So they were retired . . . from daily wear.

I didn't dispose of them though. They were too thrashed to donate to the Goodwill, but they still had a lot of life in them. They must still be good for something, I thought.

And they are. These are the shoes that allow me to safely get down to and back up from my favorite surf spot. The trail is quite rocky these days. For a time, I was making the trek on that trail with bare feet. Once we had some decent rains that brought loose rocks down onto the trail, I soon realized I'd need footwear again. The trail at this spot is uneven and rutted. The rocks are sharp. Flip flops would probably cause you to fall faster than bare feet will. I tried some funky, weird, found-them-for-a-song sandals for a time. Since they weren't snug on my feet, they turned out to be useless. I needed shoes. I needed shoes that were going to take a beating.

These Vans are now stained, salty and stiff as a board. Their odor when wet is . . . interesting. Nonetheless, I'm not giving up on them yet. I wear them down to the break when my feet are dry. After my session, still dripping wet, I put them back on for the hike to the car. By the time I reach the end of the trail, the shoes are soaked and caked with dirt. I clean them off as best I can. Once I get home, I leave them out in the sun to dry.

So, when the zombie apocalypse is upon us, look for the dreadlocked black chick zombie with the nasty brown Vans.

Then it would probably be a good idea to start running in the opposite direction.