Surfboard to the Face (A Haiku)

The bridge stands defiant,
witness to the bloodless coup
that left bone intact.

Translation: My board hit me in the nose. I saw stars. Luckily, nothing was broken. No blood, no searing pain. Just a little bit of shock and awe. Yes, it turned out to be an excellent session too!

Note: Several sites I looked at suggested that the well-known rule of three lines of 5-7-5 syllables and a seasonal reference is not the only acceptable form of Haiku.

Why Wouldn't You Ride a Mat?

They, whoever "they" are, weren't kidding when they said the learning curve on a mat is steep. Getting out to the lineup is more than a notion until you're really comfortable with fins . . . and waves that break on your head . . . and a surf craft that does not seem to duck dive (not that I know how to duck dive).


However, the more time you spend in the water, the more it starts to click. This was only my second mat session, but I actually felt like I knew what I was supposed to do. I couldn't quite do it though. There's still the matter of trying to find your sweet spot on the mat. Oh, and the issue of steering. When I'm on a surfboard, I can easily tell a left from a right, and surf accordingly. I've not reached this stage on the mat. My primary goal at this point is to catch the waves. I'm so intent on finding a wave to catch that I'm incapable of also deciding which way to go. Cos once you're in the wave, you're hanging on for dear life.

The cool thing about the mat is how forgiving it is. If you catch a wave at the last possible moment, you're not going to be driven headfirst into the ocean floor. As long as you stay on the mat, you're guaranteed a ride. On a surfboard, a last-minute attempt to catch a wave is either going to end well or end in disaster. If you misjudge the takeoff, you're doomed, right? On the mat, you might not get in the pocket, but you'll still glide along the top of the wave. That I like.

On a day when I wanted to be in the water, but didn't feel like surfing, the mat was a perfect alternative.

The Sole Survivor

This is the one book I didn't sell when I decided to let go of my collection of signed Bukowski works. I'd planned to keep it. Then I decided there was no reason to keep it. I'd rather have the cash. I'm not sure how much I paid for the book, but the bidding for it is now at $355. Truly amazing. I paid less than $100 for it. I knew it, and all of the other signed Bukowski books, leaflets and chapbooks I collected, would eventually be worth a small fortune. I was not mistaken.

I've got nothing surf-worthy to talk about. I know there's surf out there. I'm not stepping foot in that dirty water for another day. I'm tempted, but I just can't do it. When I feel like my willpower is waning, I remind myself that surfing after a rain is like surfing in the toilet of someone with bad eating habits, IBS and a belief that cleanliness is not next to godliness. Even if the surf is good, I can wait.

Rainy Monday Napoleon Dynamite Dance Party!

Lovin' the New Board

I saw the possibility of a tiny barrel. Too bad it ended in a closeout. As I suspected, Chris Slick can do no wrong. I love this board more than my first Slick!

The New Slick

A new board brings new possibilities.

I'm not feeling that lavender. However, I was more than happy to overlook it to buy a new Slick for less than $600. As far as I'm concerned, I scored!

Saying Goodbye to the "Go To" Boards

This, my Chris Slick single fin, was my first truly magical board. For a long time, it never ceased to amaze me. Then, as my surfing improved, I began to see the board's limitations. Eventually, it was rendered redundant by the James Brown performance noserider and the Tyler log.

My beloved Tyler ding magnet is gone. I finally realized that its size was detracting from, rather than adding to, my stoke. It was a great board, but it was a big tanker (at least for someone of my height). It took me awhile to recognize that it was time to let it go. And let it go I did.

Thankfully, I've already acquired another Slick single fin, a brand new one for less than $600. Ugly lavender nose with a sweet black competition stripe. It's a bit longer and thicker than the Slick I sold. I don't know if the boards pictured went to good homes. The guy who bought the Slick has 29 boards. The guy who bought the Tyler has 27, six of which are Tylers. I guess those guys are bona fide collectors? Or are they pack rats whose compulsive tendencies dictate that they accumulate one board after another? I suppose it really doesn't matter.

THE.MAN.

I could watch him surf all day every day. And since it's been raining, I've got nothing but time . . . to watch other people surf.

Doesn't Look Like 4 to 6 to Me

Why are people paying for Surfline? Thankfully, I don't pay so I'm not wasting my money on them.

Our Little Graduate

The stupid mortar board wasn't my idea. He kept it on for about a nanosecond. Then it was off. He successfully completed his puppy training class. Now we move onto the intermediate class. Perhaps it's that class that will make him come when I call him. Does he respond when the six year old calls him? Of course. When I call him, he thinks about it and then walks away! $#%!

He's a great dog. We still miss our other dog. Soul Brother #2 sometimes feels like it's sacrilege to express love for our puppy, as if doing so means we didn't love Monty. This has been a good opportunity to teach him about moving on while holding onto the love for that which is no longer there.

All Right, Ms. Sternbach, I'm Ready for My Closeup

Photo shoot. Orange County. I opted to surf while I waited. Finally met Worm. Cool chick. That wetsuit is the shit! I love it! (It's okay for one chick to call another chick a chick, isn't it?)

The surf was small, but the beach was empty and inviting. I wanted to get in the water even though I'd already lifted weights and I never (!!!) do anything exercise-related after I lift weights. My lats weren't happy. But I kept on surfing. Again, there was nothing better to do. I finally got out because I was tired of waiting for someone to call me over to the camera. I was also feeling the earlier workout. As it turns out, the photo shoot ended abruptly. Chemical malfunction.

Oh well. I did get to surf. I also met some nice people.

Doin' the Dale

Sometimes you paddle out just because.

Because you don't have a job.

Because the beach is gloriously empty.

Because you don't feel like going home.

Because there are waves . . . tiny little ankle slappers, but waves nonetheless.

Because Dale Webster would go.

Because the weather is nice.

Because beggars should not be choosers.

Because inclement weather is right around the corner.

Because life is short.