I Know What I Don't Want
Okay, I've been at this job now for about eight months. That's damn near a record for me. I swear I'll scream if one more of my surfing buddies asks me, for the umpteenth time, whether I'm still working at the same place. Yes, I tell them, I'm still there. Yes, I actually like it. What's not to like? I get free stuff every time I turn around. I'm appreciated. More importantly, I don't pay a penny for health insurance (for either myself or my two men). Nevertheless, I can't see myself staying there for decades. It can be done, but not by me.
Once again, I'm at the place in my life where I don't necessarily know what I want; I only know what I don't want. I don't want to spend decades, or even one decade, working at the same job. Why? I like my job. I don't love my job. I don't like this go-to-work-at-the-same-time-every-day-and-do-the-same-thing-every-day-while-looking-at-the-same-four-walls-every-day thing. Before I was a surfer, I wanted to be free to do my own thing. Now that I'm a surfer, I crave that even more. The only problem is (1) Soul Brother #1 and I have a child to support and (2) I'm not quite sure how to go about making my way in the world without working for The Man.
What's my point? What do you think my point is? I want to surf every day if I so choose. I want to be able to take my kid to and bring my kid from school without it being a major production (and it will be one once the little man starts school next year). I want time to do the things that make me happy and I want to make money without punching a time clock. (I misspoke earlier. I guess I do know what I want.)
How I'll be able to make those things happen, I don't know. The problem with being in a job like mine is that you become complacent. It's just comfortable enough that you stop wanting more from your life. I don't think that's necessarily the case for me. I do, however, see this in many of my coworkers. For them, it's good enough. I, on the other hand, would like to believe that there's more to life than working 40 hours a week, surfing only on the weekends, and having a limited amount of time with your family. I may end up as one of the complacent ones who asks, after 20 years, where the time went. But I'd like to think I'll stay dissatisfied until I can free myself from the world of cubicles and time clocks.