13 May 2011

My Most Recent Article

Here's another one I wrote for The Inertia. Now I just need to get some more interviews going for Liquid Salt and I'll be back to my old—as in pre-horrible job that stole my creativity and joy—self.

An Open Letter to the Powers That Be

Dearest Republicans, Democrats, Independents, Libertarians, et al:

You know the situation is dire when I start writing letters to you politicos in Washington, but write this letter I must. I will get straight to the point. What, in God’s name, is going on with you people? (Yeah, I said the dreaded “you people” and I’m not taking it back until I get some answers.) Don’t you realize that millions of people are out of work, that those folks are now burdened with a great deal of idle time?

No, I’m not telling you something you already know. Dammit, I’m a surfer. And I’m mad as hell!

Have you seen the lineups lately? Well, have you?

Winter sessions now look just like summer sessions—except, of course, for the fullsuits, hoods and shivering. There were as many people in the lineups in December, and now April, as there were in July. A national unemployment rate of 9% is bad enough. California’s unemployment rate is at 12%! Some of us are, in fact, surf bums. We’re fine not working—or working odd jobs that allow us more time to surf. Recession, boon . . . none of that matters to us. We are happy to work as little as possible so that we can surf as much as possible. We do not, however, feel like it is necessary to bring others into the fold, particularly when those others are party crashers rather than invited guests.

It is time for all of you to right all that is wrong with the economy. Housing starts? Get them started. One doesn’t realize how many construction workers surf until you see all of the pick-up trucks in the parking spots that once went to those of us who were considered slackers by all of you in the full-time working world. And, really, those people who spend their days sitting behind desks aren’t cut out to spend too much time in the sun. Think of them as part-time vampires who can only take so many UV rays before it gets real ugly real fast!

You politicians are tasked with running this country. Instead of allowing it to run itself into the ground—what with the almost certain extinction of the middle class and the ever burgeoning ranks of the poor—get to work getting everyone else back to work. Running the country properly can’t be that difficult. It’s your job. Be glad you even have jobs since there are so many who don’t. Many of them are in the water with the rest of us. I feel for them. They don’t belong there every day. Surfing full-time should be a lifestyle choice, not a necessity. Besides, it would be nice to get a wave to myself again. I’m just sayin’.

Yours Truly,



At 5/13/11, 10:14 PM, Blogger C-Dub said...


At 5/14/11, 8:50 AM, Blogger pabs said...

Yes...AMEN indeed!

Of course, up here, in NORCAL...we have a similar problem, but with a slightly different twist: everyone here is trying to get rich growing some green, whilst spending all of their free time not at the grow...in the water! This is more of a problem whenever the college is in session, doubling the line-ups with the slacker college kids and the out-of-work wannabe growers!

I truly feel we are living in dire times that a lot of people simply choose to ignore while sitting in front of their TVs watching it all crumble before their eyes as they escape via reality television and corporate fueled propaganda that tells them to simply buy more plastic crap made outside of this country.

Unfortunately, surfing is seen as an "escapist" activity that only requires a Walmart styrofoam pop-out and the will to insert yourself into something akin to a very large swimming pool.

The media happily promotes this ideal through its use of commercials and adverts that display surfing as something that is glamorous and easy to do, showing smiling participants enjoying perfect conditions...there's a new drug(?) advert that I have seen with a woman body-boarding that makes it all look easy and fun.

Anyways,such is the dilemma of those of us that cannot afford exotic trips to far-away, uncrowded surf...at least you have a open invitation to visit some uncrowded NORCAL spots, but you'll have to excuse our hostile conditions of cold, inconsistent and sharky! :-)

At 5/15/11, 7:27 AM, Blogger P.O.P. Surfer said...

You should forward this to Dana Rorbacher- http://rohrabacher.house.gov/Biography/

He gave an interview a few years ago and said something about his congressional duties getting in the way of surfing..

At 5/17/11, 1:47 AM, Anonymous Josh Aggars said...

Brilliant Mary! That properly made me laugh. It's the same round here with park benches... you want to have a seat but they're all taken by wino's drinking all day long. Get the jobs market moving and give my mum the chance to have a rest after a steep walk up the coastal path!

Damn politicians everywhere.

At 5/18/11, 11:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great post! It will be hard to get jobs going as most of them have moved overseas or simply closed down due to collapse of our economy. It would make sense that when you take away American jobs our economy will take a nose dive. Building new homes and new businesses cannot be the answer to create jobs, because no one will have the money to buy them! A 12% unemployment rate is unreal and Florida is right behind you! If you take the time to look around or read the news you will find that a large number of good things are being downsized or taken away completely i.e.schools, teachers, medical needs, public libraries, parks, community services, etc. This is sad and senseless and we do not seem to be budget cutting in the right places. So sorry Surf Sista we will have to get used to seeing more people in the line-up and park benches for some time.


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