Buy My Friend's Board
It will make a wonderful Christmas present for (fill in the blank). It will!!
What is it? Well, it's a beautiful 8'2" Larmo swallowtail twinzer. Why is it for sale? "A rather foolish impulse buy I made a couple years ago, still in almost new condition. It's barely been ridden b/c it turned out to need a riding technique just about the opposite of how one rides a single-fin displacement hull, and I'm not athletically skilled enough to switch back and forth." There you have it. This thing has barely been in the water, people!
It's currently on consignment at the Surfy Surfy shop in Leucadia. That's another reason why you should buy this board. My friend is cool and the St. Pierres are good people. Support your local quiver-expanding surfer and local surf shop, for the love of Pete. Make this sale happen. It's only $450!
Pray for well-behaved crowds and good weather!