The Bionic Knee Blues

I'm not even feeling this bionic thing of late. The pain is just that. A pain.

When I ride my bike, it hurts. When I try to crouch on a surfboard, it hurts. I'm not talking about that achy, dull pain we all get with age. This is curse out your mama pain.

Then I ask myself all kinds of questions that get me nowhere. Will it always hurt like this? Will I ever be able to crouch down, even if it's only a slight crouch? Who invented scar tissue and why hasn't that person been put in front of a firing squad? Should I make tacos or turkey burgers for dinner?

I'm well aware that I'm only five months out. The soft tissue is still healing. I've read of people who gained range of motion many months after surgery. I'm praying I'll be one of them. I'm not asking for much. I just want to bend down low (as Bob Marley would sing). I'll even settle for bending down lowish. Low-like? Okay, lowly.

I'm still grateful for this surgery. Without it, I'd be doomed. My scar tissue problems have little or nothing to do with the new knee. They are the result of the second surgery on the joint, the one where I spent an entire summer in a full leg cast before being sent back to school with a minimal amount of physical therapy and no information about the importance of regaining as much bend as possible.

I can't change the past. Therefore, I don't dwell on it.

I suppose my surfing style (if I even have any) will change accordingly. If I can't bend much, I'll deal with that. But I won't stop trying for more.