How Do You Stop Black Kids From Jumping on the Bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling. (Cue rim shot!)

Okay, that is one of my favorite racial (not racist) jokes. Because it's true. Case in point—I have a knee leash that's on its last legs. It doesn't always stay attached. Recently, it managed to work itself loose mid-ride. As I was coming up after being thrown in, I was wondering why I was being pulled toward the shore by my head. That's when I realized the leash was no longer attached to my leg. No, it had attached itself to my dreadlocks! And guess what? Velcro has no problem staying attached to locks. So now that joke really resonates with me. Because it's true.