"A Threesome? With Me?"

Ha ha!! Made you look!!

Seriously, I was kind of thinking that—the threesome question—when the couple on the tandem paddled out and immediately started complimenting me on my build. She noticed I'd lost some weight. (Once I stopped eating meat, I lost about five pounds—five pounds I didn't even believe I had room to lose.) He asked me if I had a background in dance or gymnastics. They were looking hard and paying a little too much attention to my physique. And I'm thinking, "Hey, I love you guys, but, seriously, I'm not interested. Just like there's not enough room for three on that board, I'm not feeling that three people in the bed thing either!!" Then, they paddled back to me after catching a wave and started talking about how I'd be good with some dude named Oden. WTF? A foursome?

As it turns out, they were sizing me up as a possible candidate for tandem surfing. I began to figure this out the first time they stopped to talk to me. From what I've seen in the past, they are always on the lookout for people they think would be good tandem surfers. I respect them for that. They are looking to further their sport, to keep it alive and flourishing. So they have no hesitation about sizing other surfers up. By the time they were done talking, they'd decided I would be a good match for Oden. I had to remind them that I ain't no lightweight. I look like I weigh about 20 pounds less than I do. I can't see some dude trying to surf a big ass board while simultaneously trying to lift this baby and her back (as in "baby got back"). I'd have to try to look graceful while all that is happening too? I don't think anyone wants to see that tragedy.

I cannot believe I paddled out at L.A.'s most well-known beach on the Saturday of the season's first SW swell. Normally, I stay as far away from this place as possible. You can't even suggest surfing there on a weekend to me. I'd probably call you an impolite name before giving you the finger. That's how much I don't like surfing there. I felt compelled to be there though. A group for which I'm one of the officers said they wanted us all to be there today, that there would be some French camera crew and blah blah blah. I promised I would be in attendance so I showed up. Thankfully, when I asked another member of the group what time she was getting there, she said she'd be there at dawn in order to get a good parking space. Again, WTF? Since I knew she surfs there often, I decided I should follow her lead. I was there in the dark . . . with about 15 other cars. As the sun was coming up, I was paddling out. Hit it and quit it!! I wasn't going to sit around waiting for the group or some camera crews. Not here! I got in and I got mine. As much as I hate this place, I actually had a decent session. I got several waves to myself, one of which took me all the way to the beach. I wasn't overly freaked out by the crowd. And that damn longboard hull is a monster. I notice, as I've said in the past, when you have equipment you trust, your anxiety decreases. So, I didn't care about the crowd. I knew that board would get me my waves. And it did.

P.S. Apropos of sounds that I consider noteworthy, I love the sound of Sarlo powering down the line. Oh my god, I don't need to see him. You can usually hear him coming; he's throwing spray constantly. And you can hear the power of his surfing as it approaches you. He's only had to spray me once. That was enough to teach me to get the fuck out of his way. Quickly. By the way, I love Sarlo. He's always been very nice to me. Maybe it's because I'm a chick. Don't know and don't care. I just have a lot of respect for him.