22 February 2010

Kiss My Black A*@, Stab Magazine!!

Super breed descends

Icah Wilmot is bad news for the white devil. Last week this multi-talented Negro became the first Jamiacan winner of the Pan American championships, held in Cuba, signalling, amongst other things, an uncertain future for the Aryan domination of surfing

Kelly, Dane and Andy are very aware of the racial homogenization that has occurred in every athletic pursuit the genetically superior black man has turned his canetloupe-sized palm to. But it gets worse. Icah not only surfs very well (a four-time National Junior Champ and five time National Open Champ, no less), Icah’s family are not only Jamaican surfing royalty, Icah is not only an accredited ISA judge, surf instructor and holder of a bachelor degree in Information Technology (majoring in enterprise computing), Icah is in a band.

They are called “From the Deep” and not only is he in them, he plays bass. He stands to the side and t’umps out riffs no one hears though everyone needs. The same ones that make petite white women go wide-eyed and silent as they watch. He is a rare combination of the genetic pooling that’s doomed basketball, seen our first Negro president and brought Lou Suluola Samuel into the world (the daughter of Seal and Heidi Klum). – Jed Smith

This piece of shit has since been removed from the publication's website. Obviously, the folks at the magazine signed off on the content or else they wouldn't have allowed this to go live in the first place. So why take it down? Stand your ground and tell us what you really think. Oh wait, you've already done that by allowing Mr. Smith to spout his bullshit with a seeming nod and a wink.

You know, black folks aren't as sensitive as we used to be. I, for one, am one of the least sensitive of the race. Not much rattles me when it comes to race. Basically, I don't care what other people think about race. Everyone is racist in some form or another. Some are more racist than others. I don't believe humans are capable of being unbiased about anything. No religion, race or geographic group is capable of seeing others as equals. Humans always look for, and point out, differences among people.

With that said, fuck you, Stab Magazine. As one who isn't that sensitive, I will admit that this did not amuse me. Yeah, you took it down, but not before people made sure it was circulated. It arrived in my Inbox from other people who were not amused.

Surfing doesn't need this kind of thing. Don't we have enough on our plates with crowded lineups and out of control SUP riders? Stop rocking the damn leaking boat already!


At 2/22/10, 1:14 PM, Blogger Rebecca Olive said...

Nicely said Surfsister.

It's a hideous, hideous publication.

At 2/22/10, 1:56 PM, Blogger pabs said...

Right ON Surf sister...these so-called "experts" who try to explain their pathetic and blatantly racist viewpoints are a bunch fools who probably ride SUPs and shop at Quicksilver...they demean us all in the lineup and should be called out!

At 2/22/10, 5:15 PM, Blogger Christian said...

To quote Ice T when he was singing for Body Count, "Racist bullshit has fucked this country up since day one."

What an awful magazine.

At 2/22/10, 5:48 PM, Blogger SlowPolk said...

hey - wasn't this an attempt at satire?

At 2/22/10, 5:49 PM, Blogger SlowPolk said...

Congrads Icah!

At 2/22/10, 6:00 PM, Blogger Surfsister said...

In fact, I think it was an attempt at satire. But you know what? You've got to have mad skills in order to write satire without pissing people off. This guy lacked the skills. Therefore, he should have kept his ignorant assed mouth shut. The editors at Stab bear as much responsibility as he does. Again, those who can, do. Those who can't . . . need to shut the fuck up.

At 2/23/10, 9:33 AM, Blogger PLG said...

Well said

At 2/23/10, 11:58 AM, Blogger Alan_M said...

I had a look at this thing... I'd never heard of Stab. I agree with Sam, it seemed to me it couldn't be anything other than satire. I mean, people who can read and write don't really think like this, do they?
Seems the whole magazine is an awkward attempt at a counter establishment thing, but it's either so well played that it's hard to tell, or clumsily played, as you pointed out. The whole thing, article and magazine as a whole, seems really weird to me, like the whole point is to piss everyone off, not (as they state) offer an alternative to the surf media establishment.

At 2/25/10, 8:13 AM, Anonymous NigHeist said...

For the record, I'm pretty sure that if I used the phrase "black folks," as was used post above, in my daily or professional dialogs, I'd catch flack.

Perspective people...

At 2/25/10, 8:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the text is a joke are you kidding me? it's supposed to be funny. it is funny. it's in favor of blacks - it says he's multi talented, it says girls shutter and cream their cunts at the sound of his orgazmic bass. it's funny you guys are lame.

At 2/25/10, 8:31 AM, Blogger Surfsister said...

As I said before, if you're going to do satire or tongue-in-cheek stuff, you tread lightly and write it well. This was not written well.

I'm already over this. You all can keep commenting, but I've moved on. There are more important things in the world to turn one's attention to. This got my five minutes of attention. Done with it.


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