10 April 2006

Filthy and Disgusting

Sunday session. Home break. As Uncle Grant would say, It was on! I shit you not. The home break hasn't seen waves that good in a long time. But first, a word from our sponsors.
(Surfer #1) Hey, dude, like what's that brown stuff floating in the water?
(Surfer #2) I don't know. It looks harmless to me. I think that's what the City calls "biosolids," dude.
(Surfer #1) But, dude, isn't that just a nice way of saying, "There's a whole bunch of shit in the water?"
(Surfer #2) No way, dude. It's totally clean out here. Since the beach is still open, the water must be clean, right?
(Surfer #1) Right on!!! (Pointing toward the horizon) Outside!!!
The camera pulls back to show the approach of a beautiful wave that will certainly be overhead. We see our surfers laughing and hooting, turning their boards toward shore and paddling through brown, trash-strewn water. Cut to: "Thanks to the City of Los Angeles, our beaches are clean and safe."

And my question is this: Why didn't anyone tell us there was a sewage spill? I mean, what the hell was that shit in the water? It was disgusting to the point of scaring me. The session started off on a high note, with (apparently) clean water and beautiful, overhead waves. It seemed destined to be one of the best days our home break has seen. Then, out of the blue, the lineup was surrounded by this . . . brown, nasty gunk. It was everywhere. At the time that I noticed it, I was on someone else's board. He was so horrified by the stuff in the water that he screamed at me to paddle further inside and get his board out of that shit. I might have laughed had I not realized that he was serious. There's just no excuse for water that filthy and there's no way I would have paddled out had I known what was out there.

I want to say my session on Sunday was a good one. I thought it was . . . until I got out of the water. Soul Brother #1, who was on the beach with his camera and Soul Brother #2 when I paddled out, told me that he got few pictures of me because all I did was sit there. What the . . .? All I did was sit there? Okay, I paddled out with another member of the crew. Before I'd even been out for 10 minutes, I'd caught my first wave, one that was definitely overhead. Turns out he didn't even see it. And so I ask the famous philosophical question: If you ride a nice wave and no one sees it, does it count? I guess not. After catching that first wave, I decided to chill for a bit since it was crowded and I felt like I'd already ridden my wave of the day. All Soul Brother #1 saw was the chilling. Of course, I had other waves, two of which he saw. He did not see the long left I took all the way to shore. He did not see nice turn I made after a close out shot me through the air while I was turning. There was a lot he didn't see. And all I heard about was how I wasn't catching anything. Initially, I thought I'd had a good session. But after hearing about myself, I found it hard to find anything good to say about my session. Soul Brother #1 commented on how one member in our crew was catching all the waves. Well, you know, when I've been surfing for 20 years I hope to have enough wave knowledge to catch all the waves too. Truthfully, I don't know what to say about the session. The waves were truly beautiful. Sunday's session was a gift from the surf gods. It appeared that fun was had by one and all. I was glad to be part of it. I think I surfed well enough. I don't know. Now I'm all pissed off about it. Oh well.

I've got a few pictures from the session, pictures of some of the people in the crew. Unfortunately, Blogger is not cooperating so I'll have to post them later.


At 4/11/06, 2:36 PM, Blogger TedZSurfer said...

Don't read anything into it - every time I've had a non-surfer go to the beach to watch me surf they get bored and start messing around with other things. My wife says: "you all look the same in black wetsuits so I can't tell which one you are". They never seem to be looking when I get that 20 second barrel! The only person who "saw it all" was my Dad who faithfully stood by the tripod for an hour taking pictures of his boy two different times while visiting.

At 4/13/06, 11:59 AM, Blogger Nate said...

If you can't claim it, your readers will claim it for you: Congratulations on your good day!


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