A Moral Victory?

The month will pass without me swimming to the buoy. I'm still going to act as if I did it. I've been ready. Ria even agreed to paddle next to me as I swam. Everything was in place. Until I got to the beach. Damn board-breaking south swell closeouts! I don't want any of that when I'm surfing. Why would I try to take that on with only a wetsuit and a smile? Screw that. I'm not crazy. Both Ria and I laughed about envisioning both of us paddling in on her surfboard. The conditions weren't right for a swim . . . even with a good knee. I'll get to it when the swell calms down.

I recognize that I'm beginning to get on with my life. I've chucked the handicapped parking placard. I've stopped smoking the marijuana (although it would have come in handy last night—I'll get back to that). I want to feel normal again. Not that I'm suggesting I was ever normal. (I'll be here all week! Is this thing on?) As I begin to feel better, I'm no longer forced to consider my knee with every decision I make.

With that said, I still ain't got no flexion, dammit! It bends, yes, but it's not enough. Now, I know there's still a lot of healing going on in the joint. My knee continues to be quite warm to the touch. Yesterday, I got a massage specifically to break up the scar tissue. Doesn't sound fun does it? Well, it was not. Fun. Enjoyable. Delighftul. Or easy. It was rather painful, to say the least. Two hours later, I went to physical therapy. So I spent two hours being tortured yesterday. Please, sir, may I have another! At this point, I will do everything within my power to bring this knee back to the point where it does what I need it to do. Most knee replacement patients simply want to live without pain. I want to play without pain. I also want a joint that allows me to do what I do. I'm willing to put up with the pain and the expense of this knee replacement and the recovery in order to get my life back.