30 June 2009

A Moral Victory?

The month will pass without me swimming to the buoy. I'm still going to act as if I did it. I've been ready. Ria even agreed to paddle next to me as I swam. Everything was in place. Until I got to the beach. Damn board-breaking south swell closeouts! I don't want any of that when I'm surfing. Why would I try to take that on with only a wetsuit and a smile? Screw that. I'm not crazy. Both Ria and I laughed about envisioning both of us paddling in on her surfboard. The conditions weren't right for a swim . . . even with a good knee. I'll get to it when the swell calms down.

I recognize that I'm beginning to get on with my life. I've chucked the handicapped parking placard. I've stopped smoking the marijuana (although it would have come in handy last night—I'll get back to that). I want to feel normal again. Not that I'm suggesting I was ever normal. (I'll be here all week! Is this thing on?) As I begin to feel better, I'm no longer forced to consider my knee with every decision I make.

With that said, I still ain't got no flexion, dammit! It bends, yes, but it's not enough. Now, I know there's still a lot of healing going on in the joint. My knee continues to be quite warm to the touch. Yesterday, I got a massage specifically to break up the scar tissue. Doesn't sound fun does it? Well, it was not. Fun. Enjoyable. Delighftul. Or easy. It was rather painful, to say the least. Two hours later, I went to physical therapy. So I spent two hours being tortured yesterday. Please, sir, may I have another! At this point, I will do everything within my power to bring this knee back to the point where it does what I need it to do. Most knee replacement patients simply want to live without pain. I want to play without pain. I also want a joint that allows me to do what I do. I'm willing to put up with the pain and the expense of this knee replacement and the recovery in order to get my life back.

11 Comments:

At 6/30/09, 2:39 PM, Blogger Christian said...

Breaking up scar tissue sounds like a really bad - but necessary - time.

I drove past Beer Can Beach this morning and was blown away at the mayhem.

Watching that mess was a whole 'nother kind of pain. ;)

 
At 6/30/09, 7:47 PM, Blogger nm said...

girlfriend can finally lift her arms over her head and has cut out all pain meds except aleve. started chemo....haircut...keeping positive.

you'll get there. we have faith for you.

how's soul bro #1?

 
At 6/30/09, 8:10 PM, Blogger Surfsister said...

That's great news, nm. Have her try some marijuana. It is much better than Aleve and has none of the long-term side effects.

Soul Brother #1 is fine. It looks like they got all the cancer. His post-surgery blood tests results all say "undetectable".

 
At 7/2/09, 8:31 AM, Blogger Le Vyusher said...

You are strong and determined! Keep dreaming abou those waves and your knee will heal faster! Pullin for ya Sister!

 
At 7/2/09, 9:59 PM, Blogger dgm said...

Have you tried any bosu ball work or is the pain still too much? I've been standing on one leg at a time, working my way to an arabesque (or similarly in yoga, "airplane"). It is really a lot of work but it strengthens the finer, stabilizing muscles of the leg, including those surrounding the knee.

 
At 7/3/09, 9:35 AM, Blogger Surfsister said...

dgm, my physical therapist has me stand on one foot (on the leg with the new knee) on either a mini-tramp or some balance thing. Then she throws stuff at me. If she doesn't do that, she instead tries to push me and make me lose my balance. So I am working on the stabilizing muscles.

Where have you been anyway?

 
At 7/3/09, 11:14 AM, Anonymous Tom said...

Just happened across your blog. I am a TKR candidate who still surfs. I have been searching TKR surfers who have successfully returned to the water..... but have not found any as yet. So I am pulling for you. Do you know of any others I might communicate with who have successfully returned to the water?

Thank you for the detail in your blog. Your experience is much more fully understood and appreciated because of your efforts.

Tom

 
At 7/3/09, 1:06 PM, Blogger Surfsister said...

Tom, just do it. I can guarantee I'll be back in the water. I don't know if I'll be on shorter boards for awhile though. I have to look for Boots' website. He's had a TKR and is happily surfing again. If you're in as much pain as I was, it's time to get it done. You won't be able to surf for much longer if you don't. The TKR can give you your life back. Make the drop. Eyes wide open.

Send me your email address. sistersurfer@gmail.com

 
At 7/16/09, 8:08 PM, Blogger keith said...

please keep me informed on your progress. I am an avid surfer that needs one knee replaced now, and the other in 2 years

 
At 7/16/09, 8:11 PM, Blogger keith said...

in a perfect world what is the soonest you can be back in the watter, riding a funboard ?

 
At 7/16/09, 8:14 PM, Blogger Surfsister said...

Keith, each person heals differently. There is no "perfect world" for people who have joints replaced. I expect to be back on a surfboard by August, but my surfing will be limited because it takes months to heal. Each person is different. You just have to do it and work hard to get your life back.

 

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