19 May 2009

I'm Not Always This Cheerful

Not a good day. I woke up completely over this knee replacement recovery. My attitude hasn't gotten much better almost 12 hours later. The stiffness. The pain. The inability to do shit. The worry. The thoughts about failure. It's all there swirling above my head in a little black cloud.

Now I'm worried that the knee won't even be good enough to surf on. My fear is that I will never have enough flexion or extension to do anything. I guess you could say I'm stuck in my own head today. I don't even know where the tunnel is and, as a result, I see no light anywhere near it.

From what I understand, it's completely normal to get down about the process of recovery. I'm kind of surprised it's taken me this long to hit bottom. I don't plan on staying here. It's not a fun place to be.


At 5/20/09, 6:35 AM, Blogger tres_arboles said...

It's May, kid. Let the PT take its course. Go with it; help it along with your mind. Calm down, breathe through your nose a few times, and chill. By the end of July, you won't even remember this place.



At 5/20/09, 9:01 AM, Blogger Whiffleboy said...

Oh...c'mon now...you'll be fine. You're now composed of 3.7% titanium, man. You're bionic. You're Lindsay Wagner [with a slight tan]. You're going to be making that cool "chuh-chuh-chuh-chuh" sound when you move. It's gonna be cool!

Get out of your head. There's nothing there for you.

...wait...that didn't come out right.

At 5/21/09, 11:10 AM, Blogger El Hefe said...

I hope you've gotten over this day. You'll be fine. Like I said before, I used to hang out with dudes in their 70's that skied hard 100+ days a year. They f-ing ripped. And skiing is way harder on fake knees than surfing. The torquing, twisting, and pounding is gnarly. If you haven't snapped out of it, maybe you should go against my advice and hit up a couple of the vicodens or the weed for medicinal purposes. The head needs it more than the knee. Dr Hefe says it's alright once in a while.

At 5/21/09, 12:39 PM, Blogger Surfsister said...

You're all right. I know that. The problem is that I really have nothing to do with myself, so the days go by slowly. I spend way too much time with this knee as my only companion.

Nonetheless, I've pretty much snapped out of it. I have some weed, but haven't had any in a few days. I also got some Chinese herbs to help with this funky attitude.

Thanks for your words of encouragement (i.e., kicks in the ass).


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