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Him: Now Mary, if you want that metal out of your ankle & complete healing come up to Crestline Wed. evening it the last healing service with Apostle Charles Ndifon, I saw 2 women have their un even legs grow to match I FRONT OF MY EYES!! My friend's brother was healed of lymphoma & diabetes, too many more miracles to mention, go to this web site & look at the Crestline flyer. (Note to readers: I'm not posting the link to the site.)

Me: I'm already bionic, Don. I have a fake knee as well. So, I have no problem with the fact that even more metal has been added to my collection. Thanks for the invite though.

Him: Jesus can make it ALL the way God intended it to be! New knee (no metal) repaired ankle (no metal)

Me: Not to be difficult Don, but maybe God intended for me to have my metal. I'm thankful for all of it because it shows that they can rebuild us. The metal is a reminder to appreciate every day that I can continue to be active. So, I will keep it.

Him: God bless you Mary & a speedy rehab if that's what you want, I chose to believe the bible John 14:12 -14 12 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father. 13 And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.

Him #2: Dafuq I just read?

Me: I was waiting for you to weigh in! LOL!! I'm going to go lift weights now. But I will be back in a bit.

Him: God's word! you should try reading it sometime Anthony.

All of this over a damn ankle fracture? Dude, calm yourself and do not make me go there (i.e., into a discussion about why his argument is a flawed one.)

Anyway, I haven't posted much because I have not been feeling it. I finally got to the point where the ankle was getting me down. Actually, it wasn't the ankle alone. It was the combination of the ankle and the bionic knee, which has been hurting quite a bit since this ankle episode began. I was seriously worried that I'd done some damage to the implant because the pain in the knee often matched that in the ankle. I eventually realized that my knee did all of the work supporting the boot, first, and then the sexy limp, second. My knee now needs some loving too. I've decided I have to strengthen that entire side of my body from the hips down. And this is going to take some work. It's not work that's new to me by any means. It's just additional work that I hadn't thought about when this all began.

Where do I stand now? Well, the ankle is coming along. For the most part, the limp is gone. It sneaks back in when I do something to tax the ankle. Yesterday, for instance, I did my first walk in the soft sand. I started out at a reasonable pace with my shoulders squared and my head held high. When I returned to my starting point, I just wanted to crawl on my hands and knees to the car. The pain in my ankle was intense. But I don't believe in these baby steps back to 100%. Now is the time to start pushing the joint. I do not have full range of motion yet. One of the reasons why I got myself in the sand is to help it loosen up in terms of eversion and inversion. Those movements seem to be the hardest for me to regain. The dorsiflexion and plantar flexion are improving quite well; they are almost back to normal.

When will I return to the water? That's hard to say. My goal is to be on a mat or a paipo soon. The only problem is that my fin doesn't fit now; my ankle and foot are still too swollen for me to comfortably wear my fin. I wouldn't even try to surf on a board yet. I'm aiming for late April. And that's not even a hard and fast goal. It's just one I've thrown out there because I'm one of those people that always needs something to shoot for. After the knee replacement, I had a date in mind for my return to a surfboard. That date came and went without me surfing. I knew that the joint wasn't ready. A week later, however, it was. Or perhaps I was. Who knows?

I'm still here. I'm still working my way back to the ocean. The last time I checked in, I had painfully walked across the sand to touch the ocean for the first time since January 17. Now I can easily walk in the soft sand. (Notice I said "easily"; I didn't say I could do it without pain.)

In other news, my paipo is ready!! You've gotta love paipos. This thing is made of plywood. It costs . . . almost nothing. I also sold one of my boards. Now I can pay my mom back most of the money she spent paying the surgeon with her credit card.

Other than that, I got nothing.

As you were.

I will pray for surf for all of you!

ADDENDUM (28/3/12 at just after 8 p.m.)

Him #2 has responded: Thanks Don but I don't read much fiction any more. I do have a weakness for Peirs Anthony and his Xanth series of books though my daughter keeps stealing them from me. You should check him out. He responds to any one who writes to him and often includes characters he meets through these conversations.Those writers of 2000 years ago just didn't have the educational background, life experiences or imagination I look for in a good read. All of that killing and smiting, stoning people to death, all in the name of a god. The bad guy is super evil and makes you burn forever-that is a nice twist but the good guy-god-actually kills way more people throughout the book than the supposed bad guy, whats that about? Yeah, I can see where it might be catchy for the younger generation who don't know any better or get the book from their parents but in this day and age, the material is so dated and its all quite predictable. Plus that book has shit for special effects. FTFY.

Did You Miss Me, Mother Ocean?

Zombies need salt water too! (Note: this was the first time I'd touched the Pacific since snapping the ankle on January 17! Crossing the sand was painful, yes. It was nonetheless worth it!)

Can I Get a Can of Oil for This Rusty Joint, Please?

The pain and stiffness seem eager to remain my constant companions. Sometimes the pain abates, but then the stiffness remains. In fact, it's the stiffness of the joint that's pissing me off. I conveniently forgot that six weeks of immobilization combined with four screws means that this joint isn't planning on moving much without being forced to do so. Muscles must be stretched back to their normal lengths. Bones must be reminded how to move properly and freely (even with screws) once more. The lower leg, ankle and foot apparently believe that swelling is what they do best. Therefore, the recovery and rehab process are slower than I'd like.

With that said, I have to remember that I've only been rid of the crutches and boot for about nine days. Why I expect to be walking normally and feeling better than I do is beyond me. I know the drill. I've been down this road before. And there haven't been many waves during my down time. Still, it's hard. I'll be the first to admit that. I've not stepped foot in the sand—let alone touched the Pacific—since January 17. I've hobbled to the edge of the sand. Then I stopped, knowing that a rash decision to try to walk on an uneven, constantly shifting ground could end badly. The bones are healed now, yes, but the joint is not as strong as it needs to be. It's also not happy.

Last week, I got myself to both pool-based rehab ($20!!!) and land-based rehab ($100). Both were helpful. I would like to keep going to both. However, I only went to the physical therapist to get exercises to do at home. I told her that I probably wouldn't be back; the out-of-pocket cost of therapy is prohibitive. The pool therapy is a blessing. I actually got myself to a water rehab class. You can sign up for a series or just drop in. I dropped in, wanting to see what the class is like before deciding whether or not I'd return. Well, I will be returning (as a drop-in). Yes, it's a class. I lucked out; I was the only person who showed up on that day. So, I got personalized water rehab for a song. And it feels good to be in water. It's not the ocean. It's close enough. It's a reminder of what I'm working towards. It's also more forgiving on the joint. I'm going to try to attend that class twice a week. That I can afford. Okay, not really, but I don't want to mess around with this joint, thinking I can do the rehab on my own. I can't. I need the professionals to help me through this. The land rehab was great. I only went the one time. Still, my physical therapist did some manipulation of the joint. I think that, in combination with the pool rehab (which I attended the previous day), helped to free up the joint.

I've still got the zombie walk down though. All I need is some good make-up, some tattered clothes and my zombie apocalypse shoes. I'd make a great zombie in someone's film. Seriously.

Winning (!!!) . . .

the race to a bionic future. The knee? Titanium and plastic. The ankle? Three screws and a plate.

As of yesterday, I've been declared released from the care of The Shit. He told me his work was done. Five weeks and two days after surgery, the bones had healed enough for him to say, much to my chagrin, that it's time for me to move into the recovery stage. As of yesterday, I was still sporting the big boot and supporting myself with crutches. The Shit told me to wean myself off of both within the next few days. You know what that meant right? I gave up the crutches a few hours later. It was just me and my gigantic boot. Then I woke up this morning, after having slept without the boot for the first time in six weeks, and decided I wouldn't be putting on the boot. In fewer than 24 hours, I'd taken the first steps toward returning to some sort of normalcy.

This morning, I even went to the pool. It was my first aerobic workout in six weeks. Once again, the pull buoy is my friend. It allows me to get my heart rate up without taxing the joint, the joint that seems to be stuck in one position!!! I so walk like a zombie!!

Anyway, here we go again with the recovery and rehab of a compromised joint. Didn't I travel down this path in 2009? Well, here I am again, walking on—or, in my case, walking like a zombie on—familiar ground.

It's only a matter of time before I can get my gills into saltwater again. I won't go in until I'm certain the joints are ready. When they are, it's on!!!